Swan Song

In continuing the pattern of my last two blog posts I'm going to post another narrative poem, this one set in my primary fantasy world albeit on a continent far away from my usual setting.  I wrote this in high school, and have not edited it once.  So yeah, its really awful.  Its intended as a song of legend among the birdpeople of the continent(what can I say, I've always been fascinated by birdpeople), and one of the horrible rookie mistakes I made is that I included made up words from the language of said birdpeople(they call themselves Aviarn because my high school self was even worse at coming up with names than I was, hence this poem's title as well) which only serves to obscure the meaning of most lines.  My high school (idiot) self was at least smart enough to list footnotes complete with numbers to clarify this, but still too dumb to realize how referring to footnotes breaks up the flow.  Beyond this I used a peculiar beat and rhyming pattern as a way of trying to create a feel for this culture and its odd music.  I feel I failed horribly in this attempt.

Anyway, without further self-critique I'll go ahead and present it in all its unedited horror.  I'm going to try to do some editing this week so I can present you with a much improved version by next week.


Part 1:  Discovery and Justice
Two screelas1 were brought before us;
Both knelt and prayed for mercy.
Wit the wisdom of his Highness2
Screela loyalty was pledged
To recover that holiest
Of all the great Halacies.3
One screela went, one screela stayed
To ensure that their vow was upheld.
Home given, screela prison made
Despite King's invitation.
Deukes4 passed, searching screela betrayed
His vow to find Halacy,
Even as the other obeyed.
Home screela saw our nation
And was shocked by the acceptance
Even as searching screela was caught.
Brought before our King for penance
In his vast wisdom our Great King sought
The judgement the home screela thought ought
To be placed on his friend for his plot.

Part 2:  Love and Betrayal
One screela was brought among Keld5
To witness our Halenince.6
It was by Althest7 he was felled,
When her beauty he did spot.
Seuke8 passed before he first did yield
And made effort to convince
Althest to come and be with him.
Pursuing responsibility,
Althest would always reject him,
Pushing him to progression
Into his quest for great wisdom.
He learned much from our Sartkeld9,
Noomkes10 of what would befall them,
Soon he returned to action.
In winning Althest's heart he stayed
Until in his passioned arms he held
Althest in a primal embrace.
Again and again passion propelled
Til in her guilt she spoke of their deed.
Althest was sentenced to death, and her screela exiled.

Part 3:  War and Hope
Screela free and enraged, found free
His past screela companion.
Together they raised troops to free
Althest, disguised as a raid.
His once friend plotted against he
Who wold fight for his love's aid
But punishment to his friend wield.
Scores of screela came into our sheltnance11
Without any march or guard felled
With haste Warriors12 sprang to aid
But too soon our defeat was knelled
As knowledge of the legion
Defeated those whom they assailed.
Traitorous friend led to raid,
Thus the exile realized the plot,
And led honored screela to stop him.
The battle was fierce, magic hot.
Screela and King did at last kill him,
But the King13 he did take with him.
Exile returned, Althest restored, the Swan from them born.14

*An explanation of terms native to the Aviarn language.
1. Screela is a term used by the Aviarns to describe various peoples.  Its meaning can be primarily listed as four main things: derogatory term for a human; thief; one who has no honor; and the one who brought forth salvation.  This last meaning would seem not to fit unless this bardsong is taken into account(it was in fact my delving into the origin of this definition which led to discover the Swan Song.)
2.  This is a reference to the most legendary of the Aviarns' High Kings, Kavelian Msochiv.
3.  The term Halacy refers to a shrine or holy relic.  The Great Halacies are a collection of the five most important and powerful such pieces in the Aviarn's catalog.  The one referred to in this passage is the Swan Shrine, which is the only article devoted to the worship of love, romantic and otherwise.
4.  Deukes is a term used to mean a few years, which is usually 3 to 5 years, but according to my research it refers to a 2 year span in this passage.
5.  Keld is a term of respect given to all of the various Aviarn priesthoods.
6.  The term Halenince is used to refer to any religious ritual performed by a member of the Keld.  This passage is undoubtedly meant to mainly focus on the joining ritual performed by the Althest of the Pesartkeld.
7.  Althest is the highest term of respect which may be given to any Aviarn, higher even than the Kingship.  This is because there is only one Althest born into each of the race's populated townships.  Among these few lucky babies only one is considered to be a full blooded Althest.  They are trained to be the High Priestess' of the Pesartkeld(the fertility sect), and placed into appropriate temples upon an opening of position.  The purest blood of the Althest order is placed in the Pesartkeld's main temple located in Kuvairn.
The Althest are considered to be the strength and purity of their church, and are burdened as such.  They are responsible for the performance of all joining and fertilization rituals.  They are also responsible for maintaining the sanctity of their temple and its rituals.  They are required to breed only with the Pesartkeld in order to perpetuate the Althest line.
Any disobedience to these religious laws means that the temple has become unpure and must be purified.  The only means of purification is the execution of the offender.  Since the events of this tale, the restrictions on mating and joining for Althests have been relaxed tremendously, and they are often ignored altogether by the religious community.
8.  Seuke is the Aviarn word for a year.
9.  Sartkeld is used to refer to the more family oriented religious sects such as fertility, life, and love.
10.  Noomkes can be used to describe anything along the lines of fools or general foolishness, ignorance, or similar lack of knowledge or rational thought.
11.  Sheltnance is a term used in reference to the inner sanctum of an Aviarn city, which contains the temples of all the religious sects, manors and palaces of the ruling caste, and in its very center the palace-fortress of the King.  In this case it obviously refers to the massive sheltnance of Kuvairn.
12.  This writer is using the term Warriors to refer to the military of Kuvairn.  This was not uncommon among the Aviarn of the time, many of whom considered the only fighting men of any worth to be those of their own race, kingdom, or even city.
13.  History records that the King never recovered from the wounds suffered in that battle, but died a few moments after witnessing the birth of the first Swanchild, finally succumbing to his grievous injuries.  During the last month he disobeyed every Council save the Warrior's caste by giving the screela and Althest sanctuary in his home, so as to prevent any punishment being brought upon the couple.  It was in this month that the two lovers were officially joined in a ritual overseen by another township's Althest.
14.  This was the first such child to be born to any Aviarn, and was the one race missing from the Aviarn's religious caste.  Before this point in history, Aviarn society had only a shrine of love, known as the Swan Shrine, which was lost forever at the beginning of this tale.  With the Swanchild's birth however the missing priesthood could finally be filled, resulting in radical changes throughout all of Aviarn society.  If it were not for the Swan priests, I sincerely doubt if Aviarn-Human relations could have progressed as far as they have today.
No one, not even the Aviarns, have a full comprehension of the true powers of the Swan priests, but they are rumored to be capable of feats beyond the abilities of some of the most powerful magi and priests, as well as having more skill in combat than some of the greatest fighting men.  I myself cannot support such rumors, as I have never witnessed any spectacles of either type from any member of the Swan priesthood, but out of respect for them I will not dismiss these rumors as ridiculous.  They do seem to have an ability, whether natural, supernatural, or trained, to give a sense of inner warmth and calming to any in their presence.  I have seen many a Man and Aviarn ready to kill only to then behold a Swan priest/priestess enter, at which point the infuriated party instantly becomes as kind as one who holds their opponent to be a dear friend or loved one.
On such a note my explanation of certain elements and backgrounds of the Swan Song shall come to a conclusion.  Farewell friends.  - From the writings of Stephen Msochiv Bardlord, greates of the human bards.

Demon Seed, Holy Land - the better edition

I didn't mean to leave my blog neglected for 3 months, but I did.  About 2 months ago I finally found the more up to date, revised copy of "Demon Seed, Holy Land" that I had made years ago.  I've been meaning to post it ever since, but time gets away from me.
Before I post it though, I thought I would talk slightly on it.  First, it doesn't take place on the same world that most of my other stories such as my book "Exile, Magus" do.  Instead it takes place on a sort of sister world to that one.  While not within the same solar system or even local neighborhood (sort of across the galaxy really) as my main world, the two are linked by a series of portals.  In the time before this poem the travel between the two worlds wasn't common, but it wasn't exactly uncommon either.  After the events of this poem (or more specifically this poem's unwritten sequel telling of the Demon Gods' Invasion) those portals where sealed to prevent the evils of this sister world, now renamed Darkhaven, from once again spilling over into the main world (Moarugecia - pronounced Moe-ar-ooo-ghee-shee-ah).
That's all the background I'm going to weigh you down with.  Enjoy, and feel free to compare with the previous posting of the poem's original version and provide any critique you wish to.

Vagabond army marched,

Thunder rolled with each heel,

On up to the fortress hill

Where they'd kill the Fool King.

Bloody thousands arose,

Slaughter of one they chose.

Northward a hundred miles

Was their choice to defile.

They moved through bergs and towns

Slowed by rape and pillage,

As in every village

They spread their Demonseed.

Common men hurled curses.

Soldiers filled their purses.

The bloody eyed listers

Pacified resisters.

The clash of steel on steel

Could not over thunder

Their river of murder,

Nor their year of evil.

Blood flowed free through the land

That's now covered with sand.

Ages after their march

The evil remains large.

The bloody months surge on

As the army battle

Countless foes and rabble.

All this for their coffers.

Men went with the reaper

On down to the river.

The army nearly dead,

The Demonseed still spread.

Capitulating priests,

Reluctant to go dance,

Observed and saw their chance,

And moved to end these sins.

High Clergy ordered in

The Lords and Paladins

To lead their retinues,

And give sinners their dues.

Flanked by these shining knights,

Cutthroats begged for mercy,

Luring to heresy

Knight Lords by way of gold.

When this news reached Clergy

It roused dark energy

And talk of actions bold,

'Til the halls filled with gold.

The High Priests moved forward

To guard their Holy Land

By sanctioning this band

To spread their Demonseed.

The newly holy force

Would hold true to its course

Forward through many foes

In this half year of woes.

Divinely strengthened troops

Marched through the Holy Land

Destroying many bands

Of the righteous rabble.

Even holy knights mate

Amidst these fields of rape,

Spreading to the Fool's Land

Demon Seed, Holy Land.

These honorable men

To the honor of sin.

On to ultimate end

Was where their path would bend.

Day would soon fade to night,

But the hill was in sight.

When the moon took the sky,

King Cirdresse would soon die.

Night's darkness had fallen

Upon the hill fortress

Of the Fool King, Cirdresse,

Before the armies climbed.

Armored horses and men

Rushed to loudly ascend.

King at the top sat and

Laughed at the Holy Land.

Welcomed by no defense

Against inward approach,

The Lords led to encroach

And were doomed to be damned.

The door lay wide open

As armies entered in.

The floor broke from its shell,

And the Lords fell to Hell.

Knights barely moved ahead,

Gaze down at those who led,

Fearing their Demon Seed

And cursing the Holy Land.

Guarding against a fall

Where the knights strong and tall.

Up the stairs they deployed

Straight up into the Void.

The remaining soldiers

Cut off from a retreat

Moved on against defeat

To bow before Cirdresse.

These vagabonds cowered

As the Fool King glowered

And heard loyal promise

Of eternal service.

So the defeated men

Lay pledging allegiance

Before their new Highness,

Fearing Demon Seed's nest.

Accepting this pledge,

Cirdresse rose from his ledge

And roused up his horses

To carry his forces.

Now Cirdresse's army

Of past enemies rode

Along as Fool King strode

Out to the nearest town.

Surrounding their new king

Armies began heading

Close to the central seat,

Holy Land, Demon Seed.

Angry, curious stares

Came forth from the rabble.

Unsure was the babble

That arose at this sight.

On the Great Fool King led

Armies to centerbed,

Where the power did rest.

Demon Seed's marble nest.

Angry rabble attacked,

Pinning armies down,

And they placed their gold crown

Upon Cirdresse's brow.

These fools pledged allegiance

To the King of Vengeance,

And so the Great Fool King

Cirdresse's reign begins.

Blood soon filled all the streets

As soldiers lives were spent

To seal this agreement

Between ruler and ruled.

Sacrifices all made,

Rabble's fury allayed,

They turned to the mandate

Of Lord to desecrate.

The clergy were all killed

And their churches were burned.

With this done, Cirdresse turned

To gaze upon his realm.

As he addressed his flock,

Cirdresse removed his frock

And revealed what's within

As he peeled back his skin.

The mutilation done

He let his skin hang low,

As he prepared to sow

Fertilized Demon Seed.

The Demon King had freed

On all his Demon Seed

For the time was at hand

To corrupt Holy Land.

The pledged ones tried to run

From hasty oaths taken,

Their honor forsaken

As their Lord laid his claim.

Their flight was all for naught

As the Demon Seeds caught

And fed upon the souls

Of all in the King's fold.

Their Demon Seeds devoured

All that these folk once were,

And then began to stir

A darkness over all.

From good men corrupted

Countless fiends erupted

To play in the twilight

Before eternal night.

Monsters roam and frolick

With sinful abandon

At the death of the sun

Under new crimson moon.

Thus the Demon King won

Darkhaven with no sun

With his own Demon Strand

In this new Holy Land.